Monday, December 17, 2012

Ironman Florida: The Aftermath and Moving On...

I know that a month ago I said I was going to write this soon. Well, I'm finally getting around to it now. Honestly, I've been so overwhelmed by life lately, good in some ways and exceptionally bad in others, that I really haven't had any motivation whatsoever to finish telling this story.

It's hard even now to pretend that I'm still that guy who is 100% stoked about life and ready to drag everybody else along for the ride, because I am really having trouble just dragging myself out of my bedroom when my job doesn't require it. I recently posted on Facebook that "A day I can run is a good day." and that has held extremely true. What I left unsaid in that post was the other side of the coin. The days I can't run...well...those days are painfully bad.

And I should clarify that I am, at the moment, physically uninjured.

Let's get to the storytelling.
I miss feeling this way.

Ironman Florida! Wow, what a ride! If you're just joining our broadcast, you can catch up on the details of the race here.

When I last left you, I was falling asleep after a long day with a vague and undirected sense of satisfaction. If I leave out lots of other things that I've contemplated since then, I can tell you that as the days passed, I became more and more proud of what I accomplished out there in the waters and on the roads of Panama City, Florida.

The swim...well I basically owned it, no questions asked. I didn't hit my target time, but considering the conditions, I couldn't have hoped to perform nearly as well as I did. Definitely my proudest triathlon swim ever. The bike had its highs and lows, including forgetting hard lessons learned in the past, but still a strong showing. The run...mostly lows. Yet despite the crash I experienced...despite everything falling apart...I have grown incredibly proud of the way I was able to pick myself back up and fight my way back from race oblivion.

I was well short of my time goal, but still crushed my former PR by almost 45 minutes. I definitely feel that if I hadn't refocused myself out there, I could have lost so much more time and even fallen short of my former PR. Granted, an Ironman finish is still an Ironman finish, but I hate to think how disappointed I would have been to put in so much more training and finish slower on an easier course than I faced in Coeur d'Alene.

Overall, I am just proud of the toughness I was able to find in myself to deal with the setbacks that were thrown my way...some of them predictable and preventable, and others completely out of my control. I am also proud that, for the most part, I was able to enjoy the hell out of my race...maybe not quite in the way I hoped, especially during a few of the more excruciating moments...but I think I was smiling for a good chunk of November 3rd, 2012.

This ability to stay tough and enjoy myself in the face of difficulty will serve me well in the coming year, which I have big big plans for indeed. I've told a handful of people(basically anybody who would listen) but next year has been deemed "Year Of The Ultra".

No triathlons(well...Redman might be calling my name) and no road running(if I can help it). I'm already mentally committed to my 3rd 50k in February, running the 44 mile Brew2Brew solo, and the Free State Trail 100k in April. Depending on how that 100k goes...

...

...I might....MIGHT....sign up to run my first 100 miler in the fall.

That's a pretty hefty goal, and a lot of work and planning will be required to see me toe the starting line and see the finish line, where I'd inevitably cry like a baby because that's what I do.

So what have I been up to since I got home from Florida? My original plan saw me taking a solid month off of running and doing a bunch of yoga instead. Well...remember what I've always said about plans? If you don't...um...well I'll tell you.

"A plan is a just a list of things that probably won't happen."

So...have I been resting?

Hell no. When I arrived home, I was forced to make an incredibly difficult decision in my personal life and begin to cope with the emotional fallout of that decision. This was absolutely the worst possible time to give up running. So I didn't. Within a week, I was back out on the trails putting in the longest runs that my legs would allow me. I've tried to be smart about it, but there are some days when I simply cannot make it without finding my serenity in the woods. And as I mentioned before...those days when I can't make it out there...they are incredibly difficult.


Luckily, so far I don't feel injured. I don't have any pain when I run, but I worry about how sustainable this is. I shudder to think of what would happen to my state of mind if I were sidelined by tendonitis, plantar fascistic, or worse...a stress fracture. I'm relying heavily on my friends to keep my spirits up and I am constantly searching for new ways to distract myself from heavy thoughts that can be suffocating at times.

Finisher awards with two of CC's sisters-in-law.
One of those distractions was a spur-of-the-moment road trip to Oklahoma City to visit my dear friend CC, hang out with her family, and participate in a race she was helping to organize, "Little Willie's Triple Dog Dare". This was something completely new for me...a stair climbing race. I've always wanted to try one and this seemed like the perfect time to give it a shot. The race consisted of three conjoined skyscrapers in downtown OKC, and as you might guess, the Tripe Dog Dare option involved running up...and back down...a total of about 70 flights of stairs between the three. I had no expectations for how I'd do, since it was a completely new experience for me, and I didn't train for it. Well at the end of the day I received a plaque for 3rd place in my age group, which is the first time I've officially placed in any race I've done in my 3 1/2 year running career. And I couldn't walk normally for a good chunk of the following week.

Good distraction, I'd say. I just wish I could go visit good friends and have fun races every weekend.

As I mentioned at the beginning, there is some good news in all of this. I believe this is my first official public announcement, but I accepted a new job as a night nurse in the Hematology/Oncology unit at Children's Mercy Hospital in downtown Kansas City. This is the same unit where I did my nursing school capstone, and to say that I am excited about this job is a huge understatement. Nearly everybody has the same reaction when I tell them I'll be caring for children with cancer...a gasp and a sad face...but I feel it is a tremendous gift and a privilege to have the opportunity to help these amazing kids and their families through this incredibly difficult chapter in their lives. And yes, I am pretty sure I probably said those exact words during my interview, but it's no bullshit.

So enough about the non-athletic personal life crap. I am incredibly grateful to the friends who have been there for me this past month, in-person and otherwise. I am grateful to my Trail Nerd friends who support me and encourage me. I am especially grateful for my family...they have always been amazing, and I've always felt incredibly lucky to be a Loental. (OKAAAAAY!!!!)

Truth be told, despite how much I'm hurting right now, I am physically healthy and I am legitimately excited about the coming year and what it holds for me in my athletic endeavors.
12 hour shift+no sleep+10 miles of WyCo=THIS FACE!

Take care of yourselves and kill some bears.

Danny

4 comments:

  1. I take much of my sense of self-worth from the quality of lives my sons are living. Thanks and KTB, Danny! I love the woods, too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. COngrats on the new job!! That is wonderful! I know its its been a tough few months, but you will get through it all. Life has a weird way of lifting you up when you least expect it so just keep doing what you love and it'll work out! Looking forward to following you year of the Ultra!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good update. Hang on and keep running! I still think the OKC race sounds insanely painful - congrats! Looking forward to your "Year of the Ultra"...!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok, so I'm done lurking, at least until tomorrow. Good luck with the ultras this year!
    -Jesse

    ReplyDelete